- Hello, someone called me this morning?
Hrm, yes, it was my colleague; she's currently on the line with someone, would you please mind holding?
-No problem. Thanks.
[three minutes and 16 seconds of tinny, repetitive, predictable noise]
Hello, miss?
-Yes?
Yes, hi. Okay, your document... hmm, let me see... it's somewhere here...
[shuffling papers, the sound of futile efforts at organizing life, at making sense of chaos, tidying up the infinite mess]
Oh, yes. You have applied for two positions, one is "English" and one is "English Letters" correct?
-Right.
Okay, well, the problem is you are not validated for "English Letters."
- [stimuli entering auditory receptors, bouncing around ear canals, coming into contact with gray matter, synapses, dendrites, axons, the Myelin sheath, gelatinous fat surrounding them]
What?
Well, you are validated for "English" only.
[six seconds, six days, the time to destroy the cuticle of my middle finger]
But I sent your documents today for validation.
-Oh...
[stupefied; a hairdryer in a bubble bath, a pile of anthrax inside a love letter envelope]
...thank you. Do you have any idea of how long that will take?
No clue.
[the quiet cracking of winter ice, slow and low, and scary]
But, the Man Who Validates is on vacation until September.
-...
[the sound of a tree falling in an empty forest]
... Really?
Yes.
Oh, merde.
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